Taraji P. Henson has revealed that during quarantine, she found herself contemplating ending her life. As People shares, Henson recently opened up about what this extremely "dark period" of time was like in a new episode of her mental health talk show on Facebook Watch, Peace of Mind with Taraji.
Henson on being mentally low: "I just didn't care"
Henson's reveal that she'd been grappling with suicidal thoughts came during a conversation in the second episode of Peace of Mind with Dr. LaShonda Green, a psychologist. "For a couple of days, I couldn't get out of the bed, I didn't care. That's not me," she said. "Then, I started having thoughts about ending it."
The actress shared that she had bought a gun around the same time, and had gone so far as to tell herself that her son would "get over it" if she were to take her own life. She also shut the world around her out, completely succumbing to her depressive state. "I felt myself withdrawing," she continued. "People were calling me, I wasn't responding. I just didn't care."
Henson ended up being honest with a close friend
Henson said that she eventually hit a breaking point where she realized she needed to tell someone what was going on in her mind. "Finally, I'm talking to one of my girlfriends and I knew, I was smart enough to say, 'I have to say it,'" the actress explained. "I was like, I don't want them to think I'm crazy," she said. "I don't want them to, you know, obsess over me or think they gotta come and sit on me."
"So one day I just blurted it out, to my girlfriend. She called me in the morning and I was like, 'You know I thought about killing myself last night,'" Henson had said. Following her confession, she took a deep breath realizing that actually saying the words out loud help get her mindset back on track. "'Oh my god, I feel so much better," Henson told her friend. "'I'm not gonna do it now.'"
"At first, it was like, I don't want to be here. And then I started thinking about going and getting the gun. And that's why when I woke up the next morning, and I blurted it out," the actress said. "Because I felt like after a while it was going to take over me and it was going to become a plan because that's how strong my brain is."
Green then reassured Henson that it's "absolutely normal" for people to occasionally have thoughts like the ones she was dealing with. Thankfully, Henson has found herself in a much better place now! Last month, the actress talked about how she "didn't want to let 50 happen" to her, deciding to work on getting her life back on track after breaking up with her ex-fiancé!